How to start a family tree

A lot of family trees start the same way. A free trial, an evening of accepting hints, and by the weekend the tree reaches back to the 1700s. Then it turns out half of it belongs to a different family with the same surnames in the same parish, copied from somebody else's tree.

The order that avoids most of that is simple and a bit old-fashioned: write down what you know, ask the oldest people in the family what they know, and only then go to the records. Experienced family historians say the same thing to every beginner, and the reason is practical. The records will still be there next year. What your gran knows about her own grandparents may not be.

1. Write down what you already know

1. 1

   Start with yourself and work backwards

   You, your parents, your four grandparents. That's seven people, and it's enough to begin. A sheet of A3 for the tree and one sheet of paper per person is a system that still works, whatever software you end up using.

2. 2

   Record women under their maiden surname

   Your mum goes in under the name she was born with, with her marriages noted on her page. Birth records and censuses from before her marriage will show that name.

3. 3

   Note where each fact came from

   "Born 1931, from her birth certificate" and "born about 1931, Uncle Jim thinks" are different facts. Six months on you won't remember which was which.

4. 4

   Gather what's already in the house

   Certificates, the family Bible, funeral orders of service, service papers, the backs of photographs. These are records too, and often the ones that give a middle name or a street address nobody remembered.

2. Ask the oldest relatives, before the records

This is the step that can't be done later. A living relative can tell you things no index holds: that a great-aunt was always called Polly although she was registered as Theresa, that the family moved from Motherwell to Corby in the fifties, which cousin emigrated, who is in the photograph. Each of those saves hours of searching, because it tells you which record to look for and what name it will be under.

Those are the questions a tree needs. But a visit that is nothing but names and dates goes flat quickly. The best family information usually comes out sideways, while someone is telling a story about something else. The free 100 questions to ask your grandparents are the story side of the same conversation, and how to record your parents' life story covers getting it down without it feeling like an interview.

3. Then the records

Once you have names, places and rough dates, these are the main sources for England, Wales and Scotland. Most are free to search, even where viewing the full record costs money. Northern Ireland has its own General Register Office, with its own process.

What catches beginners out

• Other people's trees. Hints and shared trees are copied from one person to the next, errors included. Treat them as a clue to check against a certificate or census, never as a source.
• Two families with the same names. A John Smith with a father William in the same town is common. Siblings are how you tell them apart: the right family has the right brothers and sisters, in the right order.
• Spelling. Names were written down by whoever held the pen, and transcribed again later. Search on variants, and on a surname alone.
• Going too fast. Getting back to 1750 in a week usually means something has gone wrong. A few well-sourced generations are worth more than twenty guessed ones.

Where StoryPrompt fits, and where it doesn't

StoryPrompt doesn't build a tree or search any records. It isn't a genealogy tool. It does the part of step 2 that is easiest to put off: it sends an older relative one question a week, by email, for a year, about their own life. The house they grew up in, the first place that was properly their own, what their parents told them about the war. Their answers, in their own words, collect into a typeset book you can download. £25, paid once, not a subscription.

“What did your parents or grandparents tell you about the war — and what did they never talk about?”

The questions ask for stories, not names and dates, so it won't fill in the tree for you. It gives the names on the tree a life to go with them. It's a PDF, not a printed book, and the answers are typed, so it suits a relative who reads their email or has someone to help them reply.